when the babies don't sleep, you don't sleep.

avett at 5 months.

I could just shower that baby with kisses all day long.  He's perfect and as sweet as they come.  It's been a rough road adjusting to two babies.  I never feel like I have enough time or attention to give either one of them.  and i guess that's just the life of a parent.  darn it.  I am happy to announce that both boys now sleep in the same room together, all night long.  After 6 long months of co-sleeping with Avett and nursing him for comfort through the night- I knew it was time to move him to the big boy room.  Goodness knows I tried to prolong it as much as I could.  I love having my baby cuddled up next to me for a snooze.  but earlier this month, we all were miserably sick and not getting any good sleep.  during the day I would crash and be a crabby mess.  Not good for mommy or babies.  Or husband.  Or blogs and things.

We kept the boys in separate rooms at first, so we could let Avett adjust to his new crib without waking Griffin.  It only took about 4 nights for A to really understand that he could soothe himself and that a good night's sleep feels amazing.  Here is what I know.

The earlier you start the bedtime process, the better they sleep.  I'm not kidding.  We start ours around 7 or 730.  I've had people tell me the secret to babies sleeping through the night is to keep them awake as long as you can, so they'll be really really tired and crash once they hit the crib.  This did NOT work for my boys.  They became overtired- and fussier, and in the end it was harder to get them to sleep.  Earlier is better for us.

Routine is the ticket.  We try to keep things pretty consistent around here.  Ideally, Chad puts Griffin to bed and I'll put Avett down.  It's always been high on our priority list to be home, and present for bed time routines.  Griffin has really loved this special time with his dada- and its nice, knowing that in the hustle of life and our busy schedules that we can devote that time solely to our little ones.  There have been nights when Chad is up to his neck in study sessions for a huge exam the next day and still, he tries his darndest to get home to be with Griff before bed, only to leave again for several more hours of studying.  Griffin knows daddy will be home to tuck him in and I'm pretty sure it's his favorite part of the day.  Maybe Chad's too.

in other news, Chad started his summer semester this week after being home for a month.  I rather got used to having him here.  He's superman around the house.  My summer semester is 3 weeks under way and I'm managing, thanks to our new found sleep.  We had aunt woogie out for a visit last week and it was pure heaven having the extra help- and having another girl around.  We are so glad she came to stay and I miss her already.  The whole family has been sick numerous times over the last 6 weeks, and just when I think we're better, someone starts coughing again.  Summer is here and we've already been to the beach a couple of times.  I can't wait to go more.  griffin will be 2 in 10 days.  i'm counting. and im all sorts of nervous about letting my big boy turn 2.  its fun sure, but i still have a hard time letting my little ones become big.  after all, these last 2 years have been the best of my life.

Now, how do I get my big 2 year old to give up his pacifier?

love, us

growing boys.

1.  Baby avett at 12 weeks.  adorable, right?  i think he looks like a who baby.  you know, from the grinch?

2.  so happy he's smiling more often!!

3.  the double ride.

4.  griffey on valentines day.  I say, "show mama where your heart is".  And then, my heart melts.

thanks iphone for the lovely photos.  this week is chad's spring break (OMG yay!) and we are all enjoying daddy time.  i LOVE lounging around in our jammies all morning together.  later this week we are headed up to Asheville, NC for some r&r- or not, you never know with the babies.  Our dear friends from Utah just moved their little family to the area and we couldn't be more excited about it.  happy spring break to all.

love, us.

to my griffey.

griffin at 18 months.

dear griffey,

i can't believe how big you've gotten lately.  you're growing up way too fast.  you've done so well sharing the spotlight with your new brother.  i'm so proud of you.  i love how smart you are.  i love how you understand every word i say and how sometimes, you pretend not to understand.  i love your little catch phrases like, "yah" and "K"- you answer one of these to everything, unless you're shaking your head no.  i love how you give hugs and kisses all day and how you make us laugh at your dancing, head banging and perfect rhythm.  i love how much you love bed time, your blankie and your crib.  i love that you're a great big brother to avey and that you try to make him stop crying by putting the paci in his mouth and stroking his head.  i love that you love the outdoors and how the beach is your favorite place to be.  i love that your new word this week is "heart" and that you put your little hand over your chest when you say it.  please never stop loving with that huge huge heart of yours, baby boy.  your daddy and i love you so much.  life is so wonderful because we have you.

love, mama.

my first video.

starring griffin grux from Ashlee Sanders on Vimeo.

i wanted to teach myself how to use iMovie and this is my first project.  i put together a funny little video from my favorite clips of griffin.  obviously i'm a true beginner but griff loves it and wants to watch it nonstop, of course.

happy thursday,

love us.

i wanna be like dad.

 everyday when dad comes home, it's the same routine.  griffin hears the roar of the motorcycle, knows his dada is home and runs to the front door and into chad's arms.  he points to the helmet until chad puts it on his tiny little head and then looks around at his audience.  we all laugh of course and clap and think its the most adorable thing.  and it really is.  every time we go outside and he sees the bike parked in the driveway, he begs for a "ride".  griff sits on the bike while we make roooommm roooomm noises.  boy does he think thats cool.  so what do i do when one day he really wants to ride?  when he really wants his own gear and bike?  when he and dad go off on real rides at high speeds with idiot drivers all over the road?  i can't stop it from happening and i'll never just be the super cool mom who is okay with sending her son off to become road kill.  can't we all just get safer hobbies please?

ps, baby Avett is doing great!  he's 11 days old today; sleeping and eating like a champ.  it's hard to explain how much i love this little guy- every bit as much as my first baby.  these days, i'm always exhausted and usually found wearing sweats and a T but I guess that's just part of mommy-hood right now.  its like winning the jackpot if i've figured out a way to shower at some point during the day.  i'm breastfeeding this time around and it sure is a learning process, ouch!  avett loves it though and latched on very well during our first few minutes together in the hospital- unlike his older brother.  labor with avett was very different from our experience with griff.  more on that later.  Finals are half way over but this week will be another doozie.  yay for having babies in the middle of a crisis.  we wouldn't have it any other way, apparently.

avett, 2 days old.

These days of pregnancy.

daddy snapped this shot the other night at the beach.

lots of action going on around here.  it's another big test week for chad and he's nervous.  griffey has taken me for quite a ride this week.  splashing around in the toilet at the doctor's office was probably the highlight.  he thought the whole thing was hysterical.  gross!  leaving a urine sample while tending your toddler isn't the easiest task, let me just say.

baby may just show up sooner than we thought.  this pregnancy has been nothing like the last and so i'm not sure what to expect but- it certainly feels like he's ready to be here.  those darn braxton hicks!!  how is anyone supposed to tell the difference between "real" contractions and fake contractions?  we've had a talk, he and i, and i say he's not allowed to come before 37 weeks, or full term.  we'd like to avoid a NICU stay if at all possible.  hopefully, he listens to his mommy.

"pancake".

No joke, this little boy asks for "pancake" every single morning.  and usually most afternoons too when it's lunch time.  and, it's just so adorable when he says it, i melt, and then we have to make them.  and by we, i mean daddy.  it all started with daddy anyway.  griffey loves the weekends when daddy is home all day and doesn't go to school.  he's very territorial with his dada you see.  he's just not interested in anything or anyone else, and it's actually kind of nice because then i get a break.  anyway, it started a while back when chad was deemed in charge of Saturday morning breakfasts.  he makes a mean pancake and so i'd usually request them.  last week at 7am we had pulled him into our bed to snuggle and chad asked him what he wanted for breakfast and out of nowhere we heard "mmmmm, pancake".  hilarious!  In other news: HE WALKS!  Just last weekend Griffin started walking... and we love it.  i can't believe how cute it is, the little noodle legs waddling back and forth.  he's SO proud of himself- and we can't get enough of it.

love, us
happy weekend!
ps, it's 80 degrees in October here in Charleston.  Fall just won't cooperate.

sunday.

we spent our sunday evening at the beach.  it was the perfect temperature outside, the water was warm, and griffin grux was in heaven.  clearly.  i cant believe we're lucky enough to call this home!  in other news: fall semester is in full swing for mama and daddy.  i actually look forward to my school work in the evenings or during nap time.  strange as it sounds, it gives me something of my very own to focus on.  something that has nothing to do with babies or being mom.

auntie courtney and baby beckett are coming for a week long visit this tuesday!  we are so excited to have our first visitors and for the boys to have a little playmate for a whole week!  not to mention, i get to pal around with my sis.  also, i'm seriously starting to feel pregnant- a week and a half shy of the 3rd trimester.

mama@26 weeks.

griffin@15 months.

happy monday.
love, us.

whose kid is this?

14 months old, already.  where is my baby and who is this toddler?  This kid is way too smart for his own good and he's learning to get just what he wants.  He's learned to shake his head no when mom or dad tell him not to do something.  He says cheese, baby, hi baby, say hi, baba, ball, daddy, mama, yah, bye-bye.  He points to everything he wants and is signing a few words (milk, all done, etc).  He has a major staring problem and refuses to wave, talk to or smile at strangers (apparently, I was the exact same way as a baby...extremely stubborn).  He's a pro at going down for his afternoon nap and has started weaning his way off of the second nap.  No walking on his own yet but we expect it anytime.  He loves to read books and can point to objects when quizzed.  I'll say,"where are the cars?  where are the bananas?"  Griff can point out his body parts- head, ears, nose and belly.  He loves to point out mommy's tummy or pull my hair- that one is hilarious for some reason.

Chad and I finally made it through our summer semesters, phew!  We did very well thank goodness and are enjoying the 2 week break before it all begins again.  It's been so nice having dad home all day, we'll sure miss him when Fall starts.  Friday we're off to holiday in Georgia for my birthday weekend celebration with Chad's brother's family.  I can't wait to get away and explore.

Love, us. 

Our chalkboard wall.

in our old house in Ogden, we had a chalkboard wall.  i'm pretty sure it was Chad's idea to do it- and i'm so glad we did.  on the north wall of our kitchen, visitors, family and friends would all leave their mark with messages, pictures and quotes.  it was where chad and I left each other love notes, where my mom's famous cookie recipe was (because i can't ever remember it, i think i have to call one of my sisters for help every time i make them), where we kept track of grad school craziness- shown here, and where we wrote dumb stuff like phone numbers or the last dose of tylenol i gave the baby the night he got sick.  One time, my sweet husband tried to clean the wall and make more space for new messages.  When i saw what he had done, i strangely burst into tears (oh, the drama).  Until that moment, i hadn't understood just what that wall meant to me.  These were our memories.  and i loved seeing them everyday when i fed Griff or when we would all gather in the kitchen to make dinner.  Needless to say, we made new memories...but i think my very favorite was the day that we brought Griff home from the hospital.  Above our doorway, in big blue cursivey letters were the words, "Welcome home baby Griffin!!".  My sister Rachel had secretly made cute things around the house so that we would  have a memorable homecoming with our new baby.  Woogie, i can't thank you enough for that memory.

i have thought about starting again and painting a wall in our new place here in Charleston to carry on the tradition.  i don't think i can bring myself to do it yet.  having to leave our wall behind back in May was hard.  I didn't watch as the wall was cleaned completely.  in fact, im not sure if anyone wiped it clean at all.  if Chad did, he never told me about it (afraid of my reaction from last time, no doubt).  Our last day in the house, after all of the furniture was loaded into the moving truck and the rooms had been cleaned, the wall still remained- bright and cheerful as we said goodbye.  The great thing about memories is that...you CAN take them with you.  and we did, thank goodness.

happy birthday baby.

I can't believe he's one year old!  SERIOUSLY.  Where did the time go?  i'm so so so lucky to be his mommy.  literally, i think i have the sweetest baby on the planet.  he makes me laugh every single day.  at one, Griffey is a wild wild man.  he waves, smiles and says "hi"-all day long to everyone...it's quite humorous.  we stop a whole lot of traffic wherever we go.  lately, G pulls himself up to everything and walks along the couch.  he takes steps if we hold his arms.  he says mama, mommy, dada, daddy, hi daddy, baby(kind of) and baba.  he shakes his head no (excuse me, who taught him that?), dances to music, sings to himself and adores rolling a baseball back and forth.  baby boy LOVES the beach.  i think he was born to be a fishy.  Griff loves to play with his aunts and uncles and cousin Beckett Flynn.  he has 4 bottom teeth and two top teeth just made an appearance this week.  his favorite foods are peaches, canteloupe, bananas, yogurt, black beans and cheerios.

Griff spent his 1st birthday in California with family (minus daddy who couldn't get away due to classes; don't worry, we had 2 parties).  everyone gathered together for my grandma's funeral.  it turned out to be a very bittersweet weekend.  we are so happy gran is out of pain and with grandpa again.  i think of her every time i play the piano.  I'm so thankful i was blessed with a slice of her musical gifts.  she was a very talented musician, although she'd never admit to it in a hundred years.  we love you gran.

ps, traveling alone with a baby really wears me out.  more posts to come soon.

a laughing boy.

Laughing@8 mo from Ashlee Sanders on Vimeo.

This never gets old.  I love being his mommy.
Happy weekend!

more on " ma-ma."

They all say da-da first.  Or at least, that's what everyone told me.  So, I really wasn't giving much thought to my baby's first words- if you can call them that.  It's more like babbling, actually.  And somewhere in there you might get something that sounds like a word.  And then, of course, it's embellished by the new parents and before you know it, the news is all over Facebook.  Anyway, our experience went something like that.  Only, instead of da-da... it was ma-ma.  

The first time it happened I was shocked.  Of course I talk to my baby all day long, literally all day.  Griff and I discuss everything.  He's my little wingman, you know?  We really hadn't even worked on ma-ma but, I'd throw it out there occasionally.  Anyway, I was in the kitchen cooking up some yummy thing when, from the other room I heard a little "ma-ma." He looked at me, smiled and continued playing with his toys.  Oh, what a full heart I had that afternoon!  Lately, he says it all day and I'm sure he doesn't know that I'm mama or that it even means anything, but it's super exciting to hear.  Today, after refusing his bottle feeding twice, Griffy sat in his highchair, devouring his sweet potatoes and apples, saying mama- mixed with excited noises in between bites.  He's determined to let me know he's a big boy now and he'll do what he wants.  It's kind of hilarious.  Even at six months my kid is independent.  Tiny moments like that make each day so fun and worth all of the sacrifice.  Sometimes I feel like my life has become one BIG sacrifice.  And then I think back to much more selfish times, before baby was ever around and I can't even really picture my life without him- or without my sweet husband.  I'm pretty sure we were always supposed to be together like this.  Christmas has seemed so busy this year, so rushed with work schedules, graduate school deadlines, caring for baby boy, no money and planning to be with family for the holidays.  I hate feeling rushed, always have.  I love the slow, quiet moments when I can just sit and think about how grateful I am for my blessings in life.  I'm so thankful for the daily sacrifices I get to make, for the ones my hubby makes for me and for the love and joy that fills our home.  Merry Christmas, indeed.

Lunch with Griffin from Ashlee Sanders on Vimeo.

solids and Christmas.

I know it doesn't look like we get anything in his mouth but I promise he loves those sweet potatoes.  Six months old and Griff loves his solids.  So far his favorites are sweet potatoes, carrots, apples and bananas.  It's pretty funny to see how he reacts to each new food.  I'm so glad he's turning out to be a good eater... so far.  This month, Griffey said mama!  Mostly, he just copies what I say to him but I think it counts!  Oh we just love him to pieces around here.  With Christmas next week and grad school application deadlines around the corner, we've kept ourselves quite busy.  We've decorated our little Christmas tree, have serious plans for sugar cookies and we can't wait to visit family in California for the holidays.  Merry Christmas to all!    

we hope they let us in.

hi guys.  we've been all sorts of busy around here this week.  Chad took his big graduate school test- GRE yesterday.  It was pretty brutal for him taking this 4 hour test after working all day-but we think he did pretty well.  Now, on to the applications.  As it stands (and we've debated for months on every possible school; these are based on cost, acceptance rate, and final exam pass rates) our top 4 schools are:

UTAH

IDAHO STATE

UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA

MEDICAL UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA

can you guess which ones are mama's top choices?  I'm of course pulling for UNC or MUSC.  however, the U and ISU would give us in state tuition and just seem a bit easier right now.  and then there is the thought that we may not get in to any of those, which would just be dreadful- so i won't even continue to speak of such nonsense.  the right school will make itself known, we hope :)  I'm so proud of my hard working husband!  

the deadlines.

* You can find Griff's cute bear hat here, by Emmamade.

five months old is way too big.

in three days, my little baby will be five months old and my goodness, it's bittersweet.  i wish i could push pause, stop time and keep my little one exactly the way he is.  he's perfect.  these five months have been perfect.  i have loved learning about being a mom and have loved watching chad learn about being a dad.  it's strange how it seems to come so naturally- and just when i think i could not love this little guy more, my heart expands again.  tonight we had a bawl, laughing and laughing and giggling and playing.  oh but he has the cutest giggle on the planet!  at five months, griffin loves peek-a-boo, paddy-cake and singing all about the monkeys jumping on the bed.  he loves taking a tubby with dad (you know, in the big boy tub), watching gretschen- our german shepherd, and talking- more like squawking, all day long.  he loves reading books and tries grabbing at the pages.  he's starting to like his toys, particularly his sock monkey and chain links that we've attached to his car seat.  he DOES NOT love his car seat.  he hates being strapped in and not being able to see everything and everyone during our car rides.  he does better when i reach back and hold his little hand.  we have recently discovered how attentive he is to music.  almost like magic, every time we play David Gray, he turns silent and goes wide eyed.  he can be screaming at the top of his lungs while in his seat and as soon as we put on DG, I'm not even kidding you- silence...all the way home.  it's hysterical and for whatever reason, he is enchanted by music.  of course, we love it.  griffy loves his mom and dad and smiles bigger than you can imagine every time we go to get him out of his crib.  he hasn't been sleeping as well because of the teething- but we're hoping this is just a phase.  he loves snuggling in the morning in our bed and i think it's dad's favorite part of the day too.  basically, we can't imagine life without our little dude.  and- i still can't believe how lucky i am, really- to have my husband and sweet baby.  life is amazing.

i had to buy the hat.

you would have too if this was your baby.  your first baby boy, who was in love with his sock monkey.  goodness knows we didn't have the extra money this month, with husband applying to grad schools and all.  but, it's turned cold here this week.  like really cold.  so cold that just yesterday i was told we needed to do a better job of keeping griffy warm.  and by we, I'm sure the husband meant me.  since we all know, husbands are like human heaters.  i'm always freezing.  so really, i had no other option than to buy the hat.  i mean, my baby is practically bald for gosh sakes.

yes, this is the discussion we will have when daddy comes home from work.  i am sure of it.

and we're teething.

it's not all fun and games around here...

happy weekend!

love, the sanders crew

Go Utes!

I know it may look like I force my handsome husband to pose but I swear, I don't.  Maybe a little bit.  But this is for posterity here people.  I mean, I have nightmares that my kid will one day ask me, "mom, how come there are no pictures of me when I was little?"  Breaks my heart.  And that is why mom gets a little crazy when it comes to photos.  But really, aren't they cute in their matching Utah outfits?  All suited up before the big game!  Go Utes. Oh!  PS...Griff is 4 months old this week!

on the porch.

We took these when griff was almost two months old.  The weather was so nice here in August, we just couldn't resist a summertime barbecue outside on the porch.

our little storybook house in Ogden.